ASSASSIN’S CREED

PRE-SCREENING MUSINGS

A movie adaptation of a video game? Uh, yeah, that makes any of us incredibly nervous.

And while (according to this writer) Warcraft was a deliciously kitschy piece of fun, it still did less-than-well critically and commercially, earning a lot more wrath than was deserved.

The hope, thus, for Assassin’s Creed decreases considerably. For despite the film having a cast and director as talented as Michael Fassbender (Shame), Marion Cotillard (Two Days One Night), Jeremy Irons (Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice) and Justin Kurzel (Macbeth) respectively, you’d expect the film not to go wrong.

But it most definitely could. And in this case, it does. Horribly.

THE MOVIE

Ew, what's that smell?

Studios must be implored to understand by now that viewers don’t mind a consistently-told three-hour long film, and Assassin’s Creed might as well have been one—it deserved an explanation and tons of world-building. What it is instead is an action film that fails its stellar action choreography, ruins what could be a shining moment or two with an extremely loud score, and has character motivations that just don’t make the least bit of sense.

Considering its amazing cast, you’d expect some magic to be retained. But when the characters are so awfully written, and almost never evolve, you can’t expect much. Michael Fassbender, Marion Cotillard, and Jeremy Irons—all extremely talented actors—are failed by the cookie-cutter roles they play. Fassbender, particularly, plays a protagonist who’s never clearly motivated by anything. His role is that of hardened homicidal criminal Callum Lynch, and he’s neither justified nor built upon.

It’s almost like the writers got tired and decided to get up and go for a coffee break, accidentally sending over an incomplete script as a result of forgetting to write the ending.ANKIT OJHA

But let’s talk about the production design of the fictional Abstergo Industries—a staple of the game franchise. While the creation is quite the interesting prototype, the design of its MacGuffin, the Animus, is incredibly flawed and logically inconsistent. Now, an argument for this would be to give into the universe, but while it would be easy for the audience to let their guards drop on something as unreal as the multimillion-dollar research facility or its biggest development, they’d sure love a more layered peak on how it works.

The biggest betrayal, however, comes in the form of its third act. While Act II barely focusses on a problem, there’s a hint of a setup as the consequent act breaks out into the exciting prospect of an adventure. All of it, unfortunately, leads up to a dampening finale that loses any urgency and just ends abruptly. Without too much explanation. It’s almost like the writers got tired and decided to get up and go for a coffee break, accidentally sending over an incomplete script as a result of forgetting to write the ending.

Alfred meets Bane's boss

VERDICT

To hold a movie on what could be the weakest inclusion of fan-service ever—excuse us, but what’s that bird doing anyway? How will moviegoers looking to have good fun with a film even get why are we seeing a bird flying every fifteen minutes a scene is established?—is never a great idea at all. Ever.

Sure, it boasts a great director and an incredible cast, but this is exactly why the movie needs to be held to a higher standard. Assassin’s Creed is a terrible film that doesn’t deserve to be a franchise (and even more so due to its horrible bait of an end). It’s the end-of-year disappointment we never needed—unless of course, some of us are obsessively die-hard fans of the game franchise, here simply to support the brand identity than anything else. It might not be the absolute worst but is unpalatable enough in its own way, considering especially (and not limited to) its criminal underutilization of an incredibly talented cast.

Watch the trailer here:

About the Author

Ankit Ojha

Facebook

Ambivert. Intermittent cynic. Content creator. New media enthusiast. Binge-watcher. Budding filmmaker.

Star Rating:

Plot

Homicidal criminal Callum Lynch’s lineage is traced back to a brotherhood of assassins in the 1400s, and a certain multimillion-dollar corporation seems to have a lot to want from that.

Cast

Michael Fassbender
Marion Cotillard
Jeremy Irons

Director

Justin Kurzel

Rated

PG-13

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Cast Michael Fassbender
Marion Cotillard
Jeremy Irons
Director Justin Kurzel
Star Rating

THE PLOT

Homicidal criminal Callum Lynch’s lineage is traced back to a brotherhood of assassins in the 1400s, and a certain multimillion-dollar corporation seems to have a lot to want from that.

PRE-SCREENING MUSINGS

A movie adaptation of a video game? Uh, yeah, that makes any of us incredibly nervous.

And while (according to this writer) Warcraft was a deliciously kitschy piece of fun, it still did less-than-well critically and commercially, earning a lot more wrath than was deserved.

The hope, thus, for Assassin’s Creed decreases considerably. For despite the film having a cast and director as talented as Michael Fassbender (Shame), Marion Cotillard (Two Days One Night), Jeremy Irons (Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice) and Justin Kurzel (Macbeth) respectively, you’d expect the film not to go wrong.

But it most definitely could. And in this case, it does. Horribly.

THE MOVIE

Ew, what's that smell?

Studios must be implored to understand by now that viewers don’t mind a consistently-told three-hour long film, and Assassin’s Creed might as well have been one—it deserved an explanation and tons of world-building. What it is instead is an action film that fails its stellar action choreography, ruins what could be a shining moment or two with an extremely loud score, and has character motivations that just don’t make the least bit of sense.

Considering its amazing cast, you’d expect some magic to be retained. But when the characters are so awfully written, and almost never evolve, you can’t expect much. Michael Fassbender, Marion Cotillard, and Jeremy Irons—all extremely talented actors—are failed by the cookie-cutter roles they play. Fassbender, particularly, plays a protagonist who’s never clearly motivated by anything. His role is that of hardened homicidal criminal Callum Lynch, and he’s neither justified nor built upon.

It’s almost like the writers got tired and decided to get up and go for a coffee break, accidentally sending over an incomplete script as a result of forgetting to write the ending.ANKIT OJHA

But let’s talk about the production design of the fictional Abstergo Industries—a staple of the game franchise. While the creation is quite the interesting prototype, the design of its MacGuffin, the Animus, is incredibly flawed and logically inconsistent. Now, an argument for this would be to give into the universe, but while it would be easy for the audience to let their guards drop on something as unreal as the multimillion-dollar research facility or its biggest development, they’d sure love a more layered peak on how it works.

The biggest betrayal, however, comes in the form of its third act. While Act II barely focusses on a problem, there’s a hint of a setup as the consequent act breaks out into the exciting prospect of an adventure. All of it, unfortunately, leads up to a dampening finale that loses any urgency and just ends abruptly. Without too much explanation. It’s almost like the writers got tired and decided to get up and go for a coffee break, accidentally sending over an incomplete script as a result of forgetting to write the ending.

Alfred meets Bane's boss

VERDICT

To hold a movie on what could be the weakest inclusion of fan-service ever—excuse us, but what’s that bird doing anyway? How will moviegoers looking to have good fun with a film even get why are we seeing a bird flying every fifteen minutes a scene is established?—is never a great idea at all. Ever.

Sure, it boasts a great director and an incredible cast, but this is exactly why the movie needs to be held to a higher standard. Assassin’s Creed is a terrible film that doesn’t deserve to be a franchise (and even more so due to its horrible bait of an end). It’s the end-of-year disappointment we never needed—unless of course, some of us are obsessively die-hard fans of the game franchise, here simply to support the brand identity than anything else. It might not be the absolute worst but is unpalatable enough in its own way, considering especially (and not limited to) its criminal underutilization of an incredibly talented cast.

Watch trailer here:

About the Author

Ankit Ojha

Facebook

Ambivert. Intermittent cynic. Content creator. New media enthusiast. Binge-watcher. Budding filmmaker.

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